I'm back!!!!!

So much has gone on since my last blog.  The most important one related to my journey to becoming an M.D. was the decision to take an entire semester off of school.  It was a really hard decision but I needed to do it to organize my life and find clarity on other matters that would help to keep me balanced on the journey that still lies ahead.

I found that during these months off that I needed to really embrace the wonderful skills that I have as a licensed Realtor and find a way to make my career of the last 10 years mesh with my journey.  It is imperative that I had this dialed in so that I could reap the financial rewards of it and have it carry myself and my family through the days of Medical School that are going to be upon me sooner, rather than later. Real Estate is an amazing career that I love and have been so fortunate to have found.  I thoroughly enjoy each day with it's challenges and successes and love the opportunity to be of service to others.  It brings me joy and great satisfaction.  In fact, so many times I have battled within about the decision to ultimately leave the profession as a full time realtor to become a full time doctor.  For instance, the pay as a doctor is likely to be much less than the pay as a realtor.  The hours in the hospitals are likely to be longer and more grueling than the hours as a realtor.  The clients in medicine are likely to be sick and needy as opposed to the hopeful and optimistic clientele in Real Estate.  I mean, I must be crazy?  Right?

Let's compare:
As a Realtor I get to go to parties and coffee and lunch with clients.  I get to see lots of cool houses and architecture and interior design.  I get to negotiate contracts and get good deals for my clients.  I set my own schedule. I am my own boss.



As a doctor I get to go to the Hospital.  I get to see hospital rooms and read medical journals until wee hours of the night. I get to work when the hospital and sick patients dictate that I do.  I get to see and smell parts of bodies that most other's don't see or smell on a normal basis. I am most likely going to be working with over tired nursing staff and there won't be any negotiating with illness.  There will be a cure or not!  Simple as that.  I will have to accept failure at it's highest level i.e. losing a patient.  I will have to accept the anger and frustration of family members who need me to have wide shoulders.  I will sleep less and I will work more.  No more parties for me.  lol



Doesn't this place look fun????

I make it sound so bad but I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is my highest calling and I want it so bad.  I want to be there for those who are ailing and to show them hope and healing.  I want to work as many hours as I can and be the best that I can be.  I want to bring the party to my patients and the light in their dark tunnel.  I want to give them warmth and comfort when they are scared and worn out. I want to look for answers to their health issues and go above and beyond in finding ways to get them healthy and keep them healthy. I want to be their trusted adviser on their most valuable asset ever!  Themselves.  I want to be their doctor

Analyze This!

Sometimes I just wanna scream! 

I often feel like the cards are stacked against me.  I try so hard to stay away from the news but it always finds a way to permeate into my life.  Something I have recognized about being in college is that you are given much more information about the outside world.  Outside translating to what is beyond your nuclear family and life.  This can be overwhelming because you can easily drown yourself in doubt. For instance, I worry about the following:  Will the budget cuts make it unaffordable for me to continue my journey the way I had hoped to?  Will the journey take longer and if it does what other areas of my life will I have to put on hold?  Are the sacrifices I am making good enough?  Too great?  Too selfish?? 

Everyday I wake up and reassess my situation and I think I have to stop analyzing it as much as I do and just face each day as it's own day!! I think the best way for me to do this is to put things in perspective on paper again. I have my educational plan in writing but because of budget cuts that changed forcing me to wait an additional year for transfer.  I believe this is what has me feeling so discombobulated. 

There is one really cool aspect to the change and that is when I transfer, Brittany will be finished with high school.  This opens up my possibilities because I won't have to stay in San Diego if I don't want to.  This means that while I am guaranteed my admission to UCSD, I am free to apply elsewhere and may end up somewhere completely different.  And the prospect of this is very exciting to me because I have often said that while I look forward to completing my goal of becoming Dr. Tammy, I want to make the journey there fun, exciting and memorable.  It's gotta be fun because there are going to be so many years dedicated to this process that if it were anything less it wouldn't be worth it. 

On another note I have been reviewing the study guide for the MCAT.  Medical College Admissions Test.  For those of you who don't know this test is extremely important because the score I achieve will help to open doors to some of the best medical schools in our country.  The test takes 5 hours and 45 minutes, plus
a 1 hour lunch period and 20 minutes for breaks.  That's 7 hours and 5 minutes dedicated to the process of taking the test.  Sounds like fun.  Fortunately, I consider myself an excellent test taker.  I have always done particularly well on standardized tests and this one looks achievable to me. TRUE STORY:  I took my real estate licensing exam with the State for the first time and passed.  Now that's not the amazing part.  The amazing part is I was in excruciating pain and could barely walk or sit and I was taking Ibuprofen which was useless.  I tested for I believe 3 hours(maybe 4) and then drove myself to the emergency room where they performed emergency surgery on me to remove a tumor in my left ovary. It has twisted and cut off my blood supply in that area. Infact, they removed the left ovary and fallopian tube with it.  The surgery is similar to a C-Section and I was hospitalized for 5 days afterward.  I actually received my passing test score in the hospital.  So tests don't scare me is my point.  I just have to be prepared and study and memorize. 

What is the test like??  Well it consists of Verbal Reasoning, Physical Science, Writing Samples. and Biological Sciences.  I really have to focus on my biochemistry and math but I got this. I will be studying hard for this from October(next month) until the test and trust me I will be blogging about this aspect of my journey ALOT!

Today I was encouraged by a friend who is attending nursing school.  She shared a little story with me on how she was able to assist a med student during clinicals by giving them information regarding the patient that was unknown to the them.  I love it when nurses and doctors work together because I have heard to many stories of them being polorized groups. I have so much to learn!! 

Interpersonal Realtionships and there affect on my journey

Everyday my reticular activator in my brain goes into overdrive and notices and reminds me of all the things in the world that are related to medicine.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all that I feel I will need to know and learn.  However,I remember feeling that way when I first entered my career as a Realtor and now I know it all like the back of my hand .  In real estate there are all of the acronyms, contract language, negotiating tactics, forms, housing inventory, neighborhoods, rules, and different services I needed to know about and in the beginning it felt like a vast sea with ginormous waves that were sure to consume me and drown me before I could ever get afloat. Knowing that I've experienced that once before and excelled to where I am today, gives me faith in my journey to become an M.D.

The toughest party of my journey isn't in the educational aspect of it.  Rather, the adversity I face is in the personal facets of my life. I believe that this is probably true for most people in their life pursuits.  We all have "stuff " to deal with, don't we?  Our interpersonal relationships affect what we feel about ourselves, how we function through the day in respect to our emotional state and can be either a huge boost to our efforts or  a big drainer of our resources.  I am finding this to be the hardest aspect of my journey.  Going to class or doing homework is a respite from this quadrant of my life.  My goal now is to find a way to balance this challenge and find ways to manage or contain "issues", so that my time lines and goals remain on proper course.
signed, M.D. to Be-Tammy  

My Journey To Becoming An M.D. In My Forties!!!: Wake Up Call

My Journey To Becoming An M.D. In My Forties!!!: Wake Up Call: "Today I had a wake up call! It was really a work in progress but culminated today into an ER visit. I have been having and still have a mi..."

Wake Up Call

Today I had a wake up call!  It was really a work in progress but culminated today into an ER visit.  I have been having and still have a miserable headache that has lasted a week and I had tightening in my jaw.  Shortness of breath also plagued me today and I was worried that I could be a candidate for a heart issue?  What I learned after 4 hours in the ER was that I had a clean CAT Scan and EKG and I also had perfect blood pressure, no anemia,no elevated white blood cells and I wasn't pregnant(LOL-But I already knew that)!

The ER doctor said I need to follow up with my regular physician and get to the bottom of these headaches and so I am going to get right on that but meanwhile he suggested I eliminate all processed foods and de-stress. "I'm on it Doc!"

So, I've long known that I will have to master stress management in order to enjoy my life as a physician and why not start NOW! 
It's time for a life overhaul! 


So here is the plan: 

Add Yoga
Add Meditation
Add More Organic Foods
Add More Laughter
Add More Alone Time
Add A Team Sport
Add 3 Phone Calls a Week to Friends

Delete Processed Foods
Delete Negative Thoughts
Delete Negative People
Delete NEWS
Delete Most Caffiene

The above list is a work in progress but it's a start.  Life Overhaul in Progress!  One happy MD to BE coming up!!!

Life Happens!

Anyone who has a goal and wants that goal more than anything, probably wakes up everyday with a nagging feeling in their stomach of all the things that they have to get done to work towards their goal.  The feeling doesn't go away no matter what the day brings and at night when you lay your head down, it's still there.  It follows you in your REM state.  If you don't know what I am talking about, it's hard to explain.  I guess it's like waiting for a newborn baby to come or a wedding day. So the items on my list may seem minor to some but everything, I mean everything I do, takes me one step closer to being M.D. Tammy!

So today, like everyday, I woke up with my ever evolving to do list.  Each item neatly arranged according to priority and today like many others in my life, I saw a complete stalling of each and everyone of those items with the exception of ONE! Guess what it was?  Can't?  It's okay, I will tell you.  It was a to-do item for my daughter.  My beautiful, wonderful, amazing, OMG MOM I GOT SO MANY THINGS TO DO BEFORE I GO TO COLLEGE MOM, daughter.

Yep that's her!  And this is what we did today.  Well part of it anyways.  It was a pleasure to spend the time with my daugther and well worth the strain I now have placed upon myself for not doing the other items on the list.  Just look at that $6,000 smile above.  :-)

So besides taking her pictures, we made our road trip plans to find housing in San Francisco this month and we enjoyed some great laughs with Tatiana(my oldest daughter), Brittany(my little sister) and Yvette(Tatiana's best friend).  Yep!  Instead of completing my property search for my 10am appt. tomorrow morning we tackled the mall and a picture studio full of a bazillion pregnant ladies and little kids and family men who looked like they might rather poke their own eyeballs out than be in that place.  AND instead of my 1.5 hours of math homework and a 1 hour run by the water, we went to Sushi Deli 1 and enjoyed San Diego Rolls, Crunchy Rolls, California Rolls and Tereyaki Chicken.  And just to top it all off on the way home all five of us girls sang Adele's "Someone Like You" at the top of lungs in the car. 

I came up with a moral to my own story.  It's Sunday!  It's okay to put the nagging feeling in your stomach to rest sometimes and just let loose and enjoy this time that is precious in every moment that it presents itself.  I can do this anyways. I know how to juggle and shift.  Tomorrow I will get up extra early and complete that property search.  Tomorrow I will do 3 hours of math and tomorrow I will just run by the water like I intended to today and all will be well!

P.S.  those are random people on the Seaport Village Boardwalk.  I just thought you'd like to see where I am going to run!  :-)

They always say WOW! When did you decide to do this?

And my answer is always, "when I was a little girl." 

When I was a kid I had the best pediatrician.  His name was Dr. Pierre Salgado.  He had his own practice in a little house in the heart of Richmond, CA and I always enjoyed the visits to his office.  He had this amazingly cool accent and he was an inspiration to me at a very young age.  He had this "cool power" of being able to heal and I wanted that too.